Remember the end of last month, when I was updating you on the progress through my big ol' box of Paranormal Romance novels, and my plans to try and read all twenty of them by the end of the year, and how I'd only managed to get through three of them by the tail end of March? Well, I finished my second batch! It bodes a little better for my chances of completing the challenge than the fact that it took me three months to finish the first three.
At least until you realize that means I have to finish 14 more in only eight months, leaving an average of about two novels a month of strictly Paranormal Romance standing between me and 2022.
Slight issue though: I did not exactly have as much fun on this go-around as in my last installment. You might remember that my previous post on the subject involved a one-star, a five-star, and a DNF. These novels... didn't exactly meet that standard.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still loving this bizarre quasi-research assignment I set for myself. It's been a blast, even if the books themselves haven't warranted a ton of literary merit (except for you, Dream Eyes by Jayne Ann Krentz, you're still perfect to me). It's just that for some reason, out of a highly varied box of strictly romance, I somehow managed to pick a threesome that contained disconcertingly problematic content.
Read on to see what I mean.
#4. Immortals: The Crossing, Joy Nash (2008)
Summary: Death magic-dealing witch Artemis is in a bind: the life of her son has been stolen by a high-ranking demon, and the only way to win it back is to make a deal with the devil... or at least another lesser demon with enough firepower to make it an even match. However, the price he's set - a bounty of fae magic, siphoned from faerie communities around Scotland - brings her directly into the line of fire of one Macnannan mac Lir; rockstar by day, Celtic demigod by night. Mac isn't too pleased that a witch has been stealing from the supernatural creatures of his domain, but he just can't seem to let the desperate Artemis go. Well, at least he wouldn't, if she'd quit evading his grasp. When the two take the journey to Hell together, will they be able to fight back against the forces of evil... or the bond that draws the two of them together?
Quote:
His expression turned grave. "You've been in Hell too long, Artemis. Far too long. You could lose the -" He cut off. "You could lose your life essence. Completely. It's bleeding from your soul."
It's never a good sign when you're reading a romance novel, and find yourself actively rooting for the heroine to get as far away from the hero as possible.
What makes this even more complicated is when you recognize that she is supposed to be, at least in some fashion, an antagonistic force. After all, she's a witch with demon ancestry, who casts death magic, whose needs have required siphoning power from nearly thirty fae communities, nearly resulting in the death of a fae child. She's bargained with a demon for the life of her son, and desperately needs to get to Hell. But even beyond all this, you can't help but root for her, especially when juxtaposed against the entitled, condescending, egregiously sexist "hero."
He's a Celtic demigod, who eschews the perfect life offered by living in the realm of his ancestors, in favor of spending his days on Earth, getting drunk, getting laid, and chasing off his legions of dedicated fans. He is arrogant and obnoxious, overpowered and underpowered depending on the needs of the plot, and against all odds, is nearly unyieldingly horny. He also has zero sense of personal boundaries, which makes that last quality very, very difficult to deal with throughout the narrative.
But it's not just his characterization that provides for some of the most jaw-droppingly questionable content in the novel. There is a huge trope underlying the messy, chaotic plot that specifically had to do with a direct result of his action... or more like inaction: Non-Consensual Pregnancy. As in, not telling the heroine you got her pregnant, actively deciding against informing her about the pregnancy, getting angry with her when she is eventually informed, forcing her into a situation where she has to choose between the life of her actual six-year-old kid and your magical "seed," regularly referring to the pregnancy during interior monologues as "his child".... I don't know if in the year of our Lord 2021, I have to tell you how jaw-droppingly revolting all of that is. It's gross, and honestly, kind of scary.
(None of that even mentions the part of the book where - under magical influence - the hero attempts to sexually assault her. After the fact, she then tells him it's okay, she knows he would never force himself like that of his own volition... and this all happens at a time she does not yet know she's pregnant with his future kid. Because he has refused to tell her.)
Any bonus points that may have been awarded for the funny bits - the fact that the entrance to Hell is in the lobby of a two-star accommodation named the Hotel California; the Gimli x Legolas reference in one of the demon realms; the fact that "life essence" can be regained throughout the trials of the journey by hooking up, like if you could have sex to raise HP between the boss levels of a video game - were blown to bits when stacked up against the problematic content. The second half of the novel, the part that takes place in Hell, was my favorite part, because of the inventive and cool ways the circles of Hell served as a contemporary reimagining of those described in Dante's Inferno. The bummer was also that the entire time, numerous references were made on the part of Mac as to how Artemis was putting herself and HIS child in harm's way, without ever being informed that she was carrying it.
As a closing note: truly, never before have I read the word "whore" as I did so many times as I did in this book. Good gravy.
#5. Touch the Dark (Cassie Palmer #1), Karen Chance (2006)
Summary: Cassie Palmer is having a very bad day: after an obituary with her face on it - and a time of death set for later that night - appears on her desk at work, she knows it's time to leave town. Again. She's been on the run from a vampire mafioso for years, the same one who murdered her parents, kept her as a psychic pet, and whose confidence she betrayed when she turned him over to the FBI. But it seems that even Witness Protection can't keep her out of his hands forever. After seeking help from the Vampire Senate, Cassie realizes that she has a much larger part to play in the immortal community than just predicting winning lottery numbers: she might be the inheritor of one of the most powerful magical gifts known to immortalkind. Now if everyone would just stop trying to kill her for it, she might be able to think the whole thing over.
Quote:
"Which leaves us with the truth." Louis-Cesar gave a sigh that sounded like relief. "And that means..."
Mircea finished for him. "That they changed history."
Not to keep talking about tropes or anything, but one of the funny things to come out of reading so many Paranormal Romances in a row, is not only a growing awareness of what kinds are popular, but also, my own willingness - as a reader - to accept those tropes into my reading life.
For instance, Psychic with a Gun Fetish and References to the Nine Circle of Hell (Casino Element) came back to the foreground in this one, after their integration in some of the other previous novels I've read so far in the box. So did Slightly Problematic Inclusion of Historical Figures as Prominent Vampires (Especially Kit Marlowe, for some reason). Those three were, on the whole, kind of net positives, in my view. On the other hand, I'm starting to get pretty sick of Chosen One stories... and don't even get me on Extreme Age Differences (Centuries-Old Vampire Falls for Regular 20-Something).
This book tried to be sexy, but fell flat, especially when you consider how problematic that last one is. Especially because, for centuries-old vampires, most of those included in the novel came off as quite naïve and bizarrely poorly informed, as well as overtly sexist. The Chosen One heroine was, as she was told, in possession of unheard-of levels of power, but given absolutely zero guidance beyond personal experience on how to wield it, and constantly kept in the dark of any real, valuable intel, so as to make her dependent on the stupidity of the male vampire characters around her. The inclusion of random folklore- and mythology-adjacent creatures - like satyrs, pixies, and the like - were thrown in almost randomly, and with the sheerest veneer of explanation at their inclusion, or even why the heroine would have known about them at all.
But besides the high-key, distinctly problematic stuff - dubious lines of consent, sexual assault as corporal punishment, and uses of a virgin/not-virgin designation to, essentially, terrorize and delegitimize the heroine - there was also just a serious lack of narrative build that didn't rely on the heroine's relative powerlessness.
It's not that she was stupid, it's that she was constantly being manipulated by people with more information than her, so that her development as a character relied on SO. MUCH. INFODUMPING. Pages and pages of it, entire segments at a time. As one negative Goodreads review put it, it felt like almost half the book took place in conversations that happened in one room. Nothing was worth commentary unless described in excruciating detail, for multiple pages.
Even the dumb, fun, world-building stuff was overburdened by the enormity of the scope, and the bizarre fixations of the characters who inhabited it. And that's all without even mentioning the goddamn time-travel element.
When I first pulled this from the box, I was so stoked to have found the first installment in a series, as most of the others were continued on from previous novels. If anything, this book's status as a first - in a series that now has wandered into its twelfth installment (not counting its FIFTEEN associated novellas) - was one of its biggest detractions. Well, that and all the gross stuff. And the Time Travel.
#6. My Fair Succubi (The Succubus Diaries #3), Jill Myles (2010)
Summary: Jackie, a Succubus, finally feels like she has it all worked out. With her best friend safely back in New Orleans, a promising new archeological dig site to call her own, and fallen angel Noah at her side, it feels like everything's finally slotted into place. Well, for a minute. After an awkward proposal and an arrest by a fleet of angelic forces, Jackie finds out she's been placed on trial, accused of a crime she's not guilty of, but is sure to be sentenced for anyways. The only way to get herself and Noah free, is to make a deal with the Archangel Gabriel: she must collect two rogue halos causing destruction on Earth, and return their power to the heavenly host. Piece of cake, right? But when her best friend gets possessed by one of the demons from Jackie's past, she knows she's in over her head, so she turns to her past vampire master, Zane, for a little bit of guidance. What Noah doesn't know won't hurt him... right?
Quote:
"Consider yourself out of the know, Mr. Gideon. And don't worry, I used my Suck powers to draw him off and convinced him to visit town."
Noah gave a little shake of his head. "Jackie, we've had this conversation before. You need to be careful around the men at camp."
The reasons I absolutely hated this book, can be explained thusly:
1. Horny beyond all reason.
2. Absurdly two-dimensional characters
3. Really insane use of religious and mythological characters, including angels. Especially angels.
4. Plotting that made absolutely zero sense
5. An endless parade of creepy, patronizing, macho male characters and a female main character tasked with dealing with them
Throw in a scene of attempted sexual assault and a comically injudicious trial, and you've got an all-around disaster on your hands. One that I decided to DNF at the 20.5% mark, which meant I had only made it about 70 pages in.
The main character was actually okay; it was just that, as a Succubus, she suffered a bit from the frustrating "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way" Jessica-Rabbit-style lack of respect, specifically due to sex appeal being her defining trait. Everyone was constantly trying to jump this girl, through no real intention of her own, and she was just expected to cope with it being a byproduct of her nature. Moreover, one of her love interests - a fallen angel named Noah - was very unable to not get jealous over it, and deliberately slut-shamed her multiple times in the scant 70 pages I knew him.
I never even got to meet the second point in the love triangle - a vampire named Zane - because of how early I decided to bail. He never even factored into the equation, other than to serve as a point of weird angst for Noah.
I hated how bizarrely patriarchal, unequal, unfair, and misogynistic the angels were. I hated how the mythology in the narrative made absolutely no sense, in the relationships between Succubi, vampires, angels, and more. I hated that the plot seemed determined to punish the main character for some reason that was never explained, constantly throwing her in the way of ever-present, specifically-male threats. I hated that out of the 70 pages I read, at least nine of them had to be sex scene-related.
All in all, I hated it. So I stopped reading. And I don't recommend you read it either.
PS. The previous two installments in this series were titled Gentlemen Prefer Succubi and Succubi Like it Hot. Don't ask me why they switched from Marilyn to Audrey for the third title. The trend does not continue on in the series.
But with this latest installment - and only two titles a month through December - I'm starting to feel like I really have a shot at killing the Box before the new year. You'll just have to wait and see what I read next!
So, I've made it through six books, two of which have been 1 stars, and two, DNFs. Dare I hope for another 2+ star romance read from the Box? Would you be willing to read any of the books I've reviewed thus far? Let me know, in the comments below!
No comments:
Post a Comment