Paranormal Romance Reading Update #1: Temperamental Dragons, Copyright Law Loopholes, Demonic Crime Procedurals, and my First DNF of the Challenge!

What do you mean, it's late May? Last time I checked, we were zipping through Winter at an alarming pace. Don't tell me we're nearly done with Spring, too? 

Yes, yes, the earth is finally waking up, my garden is showing distinct signs of not-dying, and I'm reminded of the fact that the sun exists every morning only a few hours after I've actually managed to go to sleep. 

Just this morning, I realized that in a little over a month, I'd be called upon to be a part of the first family camping trip of the season, and spent a good twenty minutes over breakfast daydreaming about being a private chef in the Hamptons instead, and whether it would be possible to give my own kitchen a much-needed Nancy Meyers makeover, rather than spend so many days in a tent. 

But all of this activity hasn't exactly manifested itself here. And you might be wondering when I was going to start delivering on promises made at the start of the year.

I'm talking, of course, of the 2023 Big Box of Paranormal Romance. 

For those not in the know, back in 2020, my younger brother gifted me a giant box of 20 backlisted Paranormal Romance paperbacks for Christmas. I spent 2021 reading through as many as I could, to varying degrees of success, and the final favorite of the challenge ended up going right back to my brother to read, too.

(He loved it. We reference Judson and his affinity for "guns over psychic ability" often. Including a Paranormal Romance between a psychic investigator and a psychic counselor that was published in 2013 in regular conversation, is fairly par for the course in a family that routinely references Muppet Treasure Island, "Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf," and a Danny Kaye medieval comedy from 1955 as often as we do.) 

But fret not, friends: this year's challenge is still alive and well. It's just that this particular box is a very different beast than its predecessor. I think I'm going to have to stop asking my brother to pick out my next upcoming titles for me, because he somehow manages, from several hours' worth of a drive away, to maintain a laser focus on making me read all of the dragon shifter books first. 

So far, in the last five months or so, I've managed to tackle four of the books, three of which I finished and did NOT give 1-star reviews - which, if you followed the last (incredibly problematic) iteration of this challenge, is an absolute miracle - and only one of which I DNF'd (because it was boring, not because it was racist, homophobic, or worse. Again, a very different box than last time). 

Without any further ado, here's what I thought of them: 

What a Dragon Should Know (Dragon Kin #3), G. A. Aiken

"'We have a problem.'

Briec glanced up from the book he was reading and into the face of Brastias, general of Annwyl's armies, and one of the few human males Briec could tolerate. 

Closing his book, he asked, 'What did Gwenvael do now? Do I need to contact my mother? Are we already in war, or is it simply heading our way?'

Brastias, whose scarred face looked grim at the best of times, smiled. 'Anytime I start a conversation that way, all of you ask me the same questions.'

'My brother starts trouble the way horses shit when they walk. And we all know that.'" 

Okay. So. My first title in the challenge, read all the way back in January, and I did not enjoy this book. But I did get through it! And unlike the first title in the last challenge, it did not use the n-word anywhere in its contents, so. Let's take the wins as they come, small though they may be? 

My main issue is that this book employs a sense of faux feminism that is clarified by its 2008 publication date, in a sort of "bikini chainmail" way: if the female characters are loosely implied to be badasses, then they may freely be oversexualized, overemotional, and as oversimplified as necessary. 

(To the point: in the first chapter or so, we are introduced to a battle queen - whose character hallmark is a love of learning, accompanied by a hulk-like war rage that renders her unstoppable in combat - by her bursting into tears at being called fat. She then cries a second time after she gets a half-hearted apology for being called fat. Then gets all giggly when the same person who called her fat compliments her chest size and pretends to peek down her shirt. The person in question is the main romantic Hero of the novel.) 

Women are either prized like cattle in the Northlands, or fair game for abuse down below in the dragon-primed Southlands. At various odds, women are routinely called whores, overprotected - to the point of allowing for regular violence towards their chosen romantic partners, excused by way of "brotherly respect" - and either yelled at or spoken down to, in turns. 

I get the impression the author might not like women a ton, or at the very least, women who weren't of a certain sarcastic, all-suffering, moderately-prone-to-violence type. The vibe was very Disney-Princess-wearing-thick-rimmed-glasses-and-sporting-tattoos thing, if you clearly remember the year 2014. 

Other problematic elements also skeeved me off, including the main romantic couple's predilection for nonconsensual voyeurism, and something that I'm pretty sure was just the communicated threat of homosexuality as a kind of mental warfare. And a ton of gratuitous violence. 

That being said, parts of it were kind of funny. Hence, two-and-a-half stars. 

Bustin', Minda Webber

"The monster ripped off his boxers, sporting a Doric column so big that Sam thought she was seeing things. Now she understood the expression 'hung like an ox,' and Nero wasn't even a minotaur!

'Talk about cock of the walk,' she muttered to herself. No way was that getting anywhere near her. Still, what was a girl to do? She despaired momentarily, caught between the moon, New York City, a werewolf, and a giant gorgon penis." 

At 323 scant pages, this should have been an easy read. But because it was so jam-packed with random pop culture references - especially in regards to Humphrey Bogart's canon of work - I spent as much time googling obscure phrases and movie titles as I did actually paying attention to the plot. 

Distracting though it was, I can honestly say the book would have been significantly more boring without them. 

THAT being said, ignoring this book's quirky delivery makes some structural issues all the more glaring: while the front half is fairly sedate - but spookily-occupied - generic Romance, the second is an about-face, completing changing both setting and theme towards more of a Mystery angle. 

The characters were equally strange. The Heroine spoke in the model of a fast-talkin', Pan-Atlantic moll from Hollywood's Golden Age... and came equipped with some severely anti-Communist sentiments to share, relatively unprompted. The Hero - a gruff Russian, one gold chain short of straightforward stereotype - plays the lover with equal parts malice and apathy, and enacts a revenge plan so jaw-clenchingly awful that its absolutely shocking that the only thing to come out of it is a substandard apology (couched within phrasing that suggests it as the most low kind of ego-sacrifice, and therefore the Heroine's obligation to accept). 

There's a third act reveal that feels like it counteracts other previous sections of the book. There's a movie-referencing final scene involving a piano that wouldn't make nearly as much sense for someone who hasn't a solid understanding of Casablanca. For some reason, the Heroine just cannot shut up about how she always wanted to be a hairdresser. 

At the end of it all, it's almost impossible to parse out what feels strange because it's a pop culture reference, and what feels strange because it's just a bizarre narrative choice. 

But we all know how I feel about making weird narrative choices in these kinds of books. Three stars. 

Never Dare a Dragon (Boston Dragons #3), Ashlyn Chase

DNF @ 17%

"Ryan was actually the oldest - until he'd met with a near-fatal accident at the age of seven. Jayce had been only five, but after witnessing the family secret in action that day, the image was burned into his brain. Literally. Mommy and Daddy quickly explained what was going to happen and dumped lighter fluid on his big brother - then lit him up. Ryan didn't yell or scream. He just sort of went to sleep, and they watched until there was nothing but a pile of ash left. Then the ashes stirred... and the brilliant phoenix arose." 

If you're confused as to why the title references a dragon, while the blurb I chose features a phoenix family, then let me clear some things up for you: there are both. When a Boston firefighting phoenix shifter hits it off with a NYC firefighting dragon shifter, you've got a lot of promises about "heat" and "sparks flying," to live up to... but unfortunately this, for me, suffered from a lack of both character and romantic development. 

Our Hero, Jayce Fierro - eye roll - is bad at communicating emotions, and an awkward mix between obliviously snarky and 2023 levels of chivalric. There's nothing about him that feels believable or human - in a "not an invention" kind of way, rather than a "not a mythological creature" kind of way - like he was constructed from spare parts of a personality that didn't mesh together that well upon application.

Our Heroine, Kristine Scott, lives alone with her single mom, and the two of them are the only ones who know their dragon-shifting secret... so to speak, as within the first 15% of the novel, someone is already using this information against her. She's postured to be relatable and current by the fact that she does things like wear "satin granny panties" on a date, and focus on putting her career first; upon being asked by a work colleague if her erratic emotional behavior is due to getting her period, she screams "You are never, ever, ever allowed to ask a woman that - ever!" while exiting from a parking garage "with more speed than was prudent." 

The Romance part bugged me because they were practically ready to jump each other from their first interaction, which didn't even go well for either of them. Despite this, Jayce decides to travel to New York with what is, essentially, the expressed intention of meeting her again. By the time the two make it on an actual date, both are considering how a real relationship would manage to work itself out, being that they live in two different cities, and would have to manage things long distance. Plus any actual sex scenes that may occur seemed to solely be resolved by way of fade-to-black, which makes the cover's promise of "sizzling heat" feel especially misplaced. And again, this is all within the first 17% of the novel.

Plus, with this kind of narrative subtlety in mind, of course, you knew that once a character who speaks with a pronounced Scottish accent was introduced, she'd turn out to be a leprechaun (I ended up skipping ahead to verify). 

I tried to get into this over the course of weeks - weeks! - to the point where it sent me into a mini-reading slump. 

Dream Chaser (Dark Hunter #13, Dream Hunter #3), Sherrilyn Kenyon

"Of course he was... why should anything in the world make sense? Dear lord, it wasn't like she wasn't sitting beside one of the hottest men on the planet who was a god himself. Or that she had a goofy teenage ghost in her backseat mouthing the words to Tears for Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." 

It only made sense that the hottie in the Classics department was a demigod, too..." 

I had been suffering through that dragon book for WEEKS before I decided to just try a little bit of a different tactic, and picked up this title instead. I ended up devouring it completely in less than 24 hours. 

That being said... she's still not great. In fact, I think that the three star rating I'm willing to afford to her is more than generous, and just as reflective of how happy I was to be done with another one of these as it is a commentary on the novel itself. 

I think my primary problems stem from the fact that it is just so completely of its publication year: 2008. Its general format reminds me of any number of crime procedurals, its treatment of the supernatural feels like a bad Syfy movie of my childhood, its humor feels like that kind of snarky-without-bite variety that was so ubiquitous to both genres, personified in the kinds of characters the Internet was obsessed with when I was in middle school... and displaying similar kinds of banter to the ones people tried so hard to emulate, but failed to do so with the same panache. If that wasn't enough for you, how about some more direct references to of-the-time cultural touchstones: Happy Bunny, Hannah Montana, and the Reese Witherspoon movie Just Like Heaven all got a mention. 

There was force-choking, questionable use of mythology as a point of worldbuilding, even worse dialogue, and truly horrendous sex scenes which were (thankfully) over quickly. You could have told me that this author was an expert in Supernatural fan fiction, and I would have believed you. 

My primary points of applause include having female character who actually served as dimensional figures in the context of plot, and the use of diversity in world-building, being that the book itself takes place in New Orleans. Three stars.

(I know this feels like an uneven review, and I acknowledge that I spend a lot of time calling out how goofy this book is. But to be honest, that's where most of my joy in this challenge comes from: after all, my end favorite of the last Big Box of Paranormal Romance challenge was selected because of how bonkers wild it was, too. I don't think Dream Chaser will be my final fave, but I do think it has more in common than not with what I enjoy so much about this project.)

So, those are the first four books I read in the challenge for this year. A meager showing, right? Pretty dismal to only have three titles completed, and one DNF, for all that it's nearly the end of the fifth month in the challenge? I agree.

Plus, with the onset of June just around the corner - heralding the triumphant return of Summer Book Bingo from Seattle Arts and Lectures and Seattle Public Libraries, as well as the Ripped Bodice Romance Book Bingo (careful, these links are both for 2022) - my mind is most likely going to be taken over by other tomes to-be-read, for challenges outside of this one. 

This all feels, of course, like the odds are stacked against this particular personal challenge of mine. But don't fret: being aware of your limitations is the best indication that you'll be able to overcome them. What I mean by that is, I keep stubbing my toe on the giant cardboard box every time I fuss around with my TBR shelves, and every book I take out of it makes the pain a little less. 

I really am planning on making Summer 2023 one slam-jammed with reading, honest. And besides, I personally maintain the second best time of year to read Paranormal is in the sunny months, when the things-that-go-bump-in-the-night feel like more of a novelty. 

Keep a weather eye on the horizon for further deets on my Summer reading plans. For now, though, rest assured that I'm currently suffering through a BDSM-lite Harlequin Romance between a vampire princess and a dragon shifter, and thinking of you fondly. 

Have you read any especially good Romance lately? How about especially bad Romance? Don't tell me there are dragons in it. Let me know, in the comments below!

Top Ten Tuesday: Books I Recommend to Others the Most

"Top Ten Tuesday" is a weekly bookish sharable, hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl!

Let's be real: if there's anything a book lover loves more than a good book, it's trying to convince other people they should also read that book, too, so as to best facilitate additional conversations about how much you love said book. 

It's one of the most enduring reasons book clubs (and, to be honest, English degrees) exist... enjoying a book all on your stony lonesome is one thing, but finding other people to freak out about recent reads with is its own kind of heaven. There's nothing better than clumping up over a cup of coffee, or piling onto someone's sofa, or taking over the back corner of your Lit class, to gab about which character did what. 

There's nothing that's convinced me about this more than a friendly exchange I had a few weeks back. I recently stumbled upon a friend of mine at a local coffee shop, when she interrupted her own Saturday morning routine to come say hello... then found herself unexpectedly embroiled in an hour-and-a-half conversation, about poetry as an act of public witness; and how experiencing a novel is an act of co-creation; and how theater is like a group project between the author, the stagecraft, and the audience, and how that's why I love Shakespearean adaptations so much; and what have you been reading recently? 

She's a gem of a human, and that jewel of a conversation was the perfect way to ornament an otherwise kind of bleak weekend. Clearly, I'm still thinking about it all of these weeks later! 

But that's what the joy of a great conversation can get you. And oftentimes, those kinds of conversations come as a result of really great books. 

Here are a few of the titles I recommend to friends quite a lot: 

someone trying to get into the classics

1. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

There's a reason it's a favorite of high school English teachers everywhere: much like how Shakespeare's themes of love, war, betrayal, and history stand the test of time, so, too, are the human experiences of having family members that drive you nuts, dealing with your friend's bitchy sister on vacation, and watching your bestie settle for a guy you truly cannot stand. May we all someday experience the highs of "finding out the hot guy you know with the nice house and steady income has a total crush on you," but for now, it's one of my most regular recs for someone trying to figure out if British Classics are right for them. 

2. The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

I've been called "basic" for this before, but if the self-inflated men I knew in college were allowed to breathe the names "Hemingway" and "Steinbeck" and "Kerouac" every other second without getting tomatoes thrown at them, then I get to talk about why it's still important for young women to read Plath. I fully recognize that poetry isn't for everyone - hell, including me; I read the original, unformatted collection of Ariel all the way through twice last summer and came out on the other side pale and shaking - which is why The Bell Jar provides a more straightforward, though no less harrowing, entry point for Contemporary Classics, especially those interested in vivid description and sociohistorical context for what they're reading. 

3. The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster

Listen, and I mean it: sometimes the best way to get into Classics, is by starting at the ground floor, just like everybody else. Most of the time, when someone asks me how to begin reading "real" Literature, I tell them to start with something like Alice in Wonderland, and to really dig into the meat of it; not just the Tea Party side, but the "Charles Dodgson - logic puzzles - chess playing - real life counterpart" side of it. Chances are, if you can read a book intended for children like a scholar, you'll have a better time breaking into Dickens later. My favorite Children's Lit to recommend is, of course, the incomparable Phantom Tollbooth, a perennial classic of kids and adults alike... but of course, "[t]here are no wrong roads to anywhere." 

someone trying to get into romance (like, capital R romance)

4. Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston

I don't think there's a single person of my acquaintance who's read this book, and NOT fallen in love with its snappy dialogue, congenial characters, and alternative history. Truly the highlights are its sense of humor, but there's absolutely no ignoring the steam factor, too. Friends who have told me they don't really like Contemporary Romance in their novels have had their minds totally changed by this book alone... you can't help but be won over by its optimism and heart. (Though I will say, if Politics make you want to dry heave, you might want to sit this one out.)

5. The Duchess Deal, by Tessa Dare 

Tessa Dare, back in 2018, served as one of my own entry points into the genre with the Castles Ever After series; I see no reason she wouldn't serve you well, too. Her characters are compelling, her dialogue is hilarious, her plots are absolutely bonkers, and her books are jam-packed with tropes galore: these are all among the reasons why she serves as an excellent exemplar of Historical Romance. If you have a good time, chances are, you'll have a great time in the rest of the genre. 

unique science fiction and fantasy

 6. In Other Lands, Sarah Rees Brennan

My experiences reading this book have been so overwhelmingly special, that I've since shared it with several people... but only a few. Only the kind, I think, who would really appreciate it, and understand it for what it is. There's not a lot of YA Fantasy novels I would call life-changing, but to give you some personal insight: the first time I finished this book, years ago, I turned the last page crying, not because it was a sad ending, and not even necessarily because I was sad it was over, but because I knew how much this book would have meant to me, had I read it when I was a teenager, instead.  

7. The Murderbot series, Martha Wells

My brother, bless him, hates Science Fiction. The kid will tear through an 800-page Branderson novel like it's the weekend funny pages, but if you ask him to immerse himself in anything set in Space? Not a chance. But you know what he does love? The Murderbot books. They're a crowd-pleaser, for whatever crowd you point them at.

8. The Wayward Children series, Seanan McGuire 

Speaking of Fantasy I wish I had when I was a teenager, I truly cannot recommend the characters of Eleanor West's Home for Wayward Children and their myriad adventures enough. Not only is the concept incredible - a boarding school for children returned home from adventures in Fantasy lands they no longer have access to, like if the Pevensies came back from Narnia and all had nervous breakdowns - but each installment in the series of novellas introduces different characters, new worlds, new lessons to have learned. And the covers are among the most beautiful that you can find anywhere. 

personal faves

9. The Gideon Oliver books, Aaron Elkin

I was on a walk one afternoon, during 2021 Covid, with a few friends, when one mentioned that she was using quarantine as an excuse to finally pick up some of the Agatha Christie novels her parents have been recommending to her all these years. As someone who collects them myself, I was overjoyed, but grew nervous when she said after running through so many, she was running out of steam. I told her to take a break from the British, and hop back to our side of the Pond; more specifically, the Puget Sound area, where forensic anthropologist and fellow UW Husky (wink wink) Gideon Oliver has been examining skeletal findings for decades. The next time I talked to her, she had bought three. 

10. House of Leaves, Mark Z Danielewski

Listen, one of the first pages says everything you need to know: there's a great chance "this book is not for you." It's weird, its formatting doesn't make any sense, there's too much left open to interpretation, and who wants to be a part of an underground cult anyways? Unfortunately, not only do I talk about this novel an unhealthy amount, but it's because I experienced it in an ideal format: back in college, I had an entire five-credit class dedicated to solely reading this book and concurrent literary analysis for an entire Quarter. Yet another reason I wish college was free... that way, we could all voluntarily attend ten two-hour lectures to better understand the books we're reading. 

What books do you like to recommend? What kinds of books do you GET  as recommendations? Let me know, in the comments below!

Where Have All the Good Men Gone? Recent Misadventures in Romance Novels

Listen. The season of life I have been living right now has not exactly been... relaxing. Thanks to family commitments, writing projects, charitable responsibilities, and more, my plate has been more full than not most days, which leaves very little time for kicking back and relaxing with a good book. 

So when I actually have time to sit down and read, I want to make sure I'm investing my attention in something worthwhile. Not something difficult, not anything I have to ease your way into or take my time with... something I can jump right into with both feet, something that requires minimal brainpower and - ideally - a lack of hurdles keeping me away from the escape hatch I'm struggling to reach. 

For me, that go-to genre has held a couple of different forms. For starters, Food Writing always makes for a good time, and usually serves as more than a little inspiration for what I get up to in the kitchen later. Memoirs are also a great choice, especially if they err on the shallower, celebrity-"written" side of the kiddie pool. My favorite, however, will always be Romance novels. 

So tell me why, out of the books I've read in the past few months, Romance has been the genre most clearly disappointing me?

Needless to say, I originally thought this was my fault. 

Obviously this Grumpy Gal isn't in the right headspace to enjoy the fluffy frippery of a Historical, or the hip and current snappiness of a Contemporary. It was only after consulting with my younger sister that I realized I wasn't the only one having this issue: for some reason, we all just seemed to be reading lackluster Romance this Spring. 

sister sister : what's unlovable in Romance

She actually called me before noon, on a Wednesday at the top of March, to regale me with how much she was hating a book I had read just last year: Delilah Green Doesn't Care, by Ashley Herring Blake.

Herself a woman in a committed, long-term relationship with another woman, it was one of her first forays into true Lesbian Romance, and she was utterly disheartened by how frustrated she was with the unlikable main character, and all of the easy breaks this person was managing to get, despite being a regulation pain towards every other person in the cast. 

"I can put up with poor writing," she texted me after our phone chat, "but I will not tolerate unbelievable circumstances." 

Oof. In her mind, what was supposed to be the lighthearted escapism of a Romance novel was getting a little too ridiculous to believe.

After finishing the whole thing, she admitted that she "enjoyed reading it as a whole and clearly blasted through it," but still, even on the other side of it, couldn't come to grips with the issues she had with the characters and plot. She gave it two stars. 

Less than a week later, I'd be on the receiving end of a barrage of texts once more, about a new book she'd started: The Unhoneymooners, by Christina Lauren. 

"My new least fave genre," she wrote, are "romance novels that think enemies-to-lovers is just two detestable people that eventually" end up together. (And yes, that last bit is edited for decency standards.)

A few days later, I got another follow up. "Are straights really like that?" she questioned. "The anger level I feel rn is unreal, also worried about who is seeing me with my eye rolls every 2 sec. U read this one right? Why do people like this?"

Eventually she just had to throw her hands in the air (despite finishing both novels). "This is my cross to bear: being the only person alive who didn't love Normal People, Delilah Green, and The Unhoneymooners." 

Well, not quite the only one: I had also rated both Delilah Green and Unhoneymooners each as a three-star read, though Unhoneymooners had been slightly more of the disappointment, not even making it onto my Goodreads Challenge for 2021. Sally Rooney's Normal People I also couldn't stand, though I have to admit that has to do more with my significant feelings about improper formatting use as a pretentious artistic choice (I rated that three stars, as well, but have since had a wonderful conversation with a friend, who also didn't initially enjoy it, but was prompted to change her mind after listening to an excellent audiobook version). 

Still, after all of this discussion about what we could appreciate and what made us furious about the Romance novels we'd been reading recently, it gave me more cause to reflect on what books had managed to make it off of my TBR, too. 

what I've been reading recently

(Eagle-eyed readers might take notice of two of these titles as being a bit familiar: as you may recall, I did a round of "Speed-Dating My Kindle" specifically for Romance reads back in February, around Valentine's Day, which led to two of these taking up spots on the front page of my Kindle.) 

Here's how my ill-fated exploits went: 

When a Scot Ties the Knot (Castles Ever After #3), Tessa Dare

Three stars.

Tessa Dare was the first-ever true-blue post-'00s-published Historical Romance I ever read, and the Castles Ever After series was the first I'd ever heard reviews about from friends. In fact, one of the reasons this particular book lived on my TBR for so long, was because an Internet friend of mine, who has since gone defunct, used to rave about how much she loved it. 

I'm still a fan of Tessa Dare, but what I'm also saying, is that we have history. And maybe that's why, in some ways, this book just sort of stuck out as a little too... I don't know... young for me? I guess? Just, a little more juvenile or cutesy than generally what I enjoy reading right now. 

Maybe that's also because the main character also feels super young. She's 26, or thereabouts, mind you... but also, severely sheltered, naïve, and regularly defined in the narrative as very small. It's one of the ways that the book almost reads as a kind of fanfiction: Dare's cramming ALL of the early-2010s tropes into this girl. And into our Romantic Hero, too! I mean, a MAN reading a BOOK? Be still my quaking knickers. It really did feel like the ideal audience was your average Goodreads user in 2013. 

But for all the parts that did sound believable - historical background given to the Highlanders military group, chauvinistic attitudes towards women, a character's severe social anxiety - there was only more that felt spun as insubstantially as cotton candy, and it felt like Dare was more interested in writing a SWEET story than an interesting one. 

Romancing Mr. Bridgerton (Bridgerton #4), Julia Quinn

Three stars.

I know this is going to sound absolutely terrible, but every time I read a Bridgerton novel, being a fan of the Netflix show first, I end up feeling... a little let down. In a stunning twist on typical book-lover feelings, I actually do not think these books are better. 

Part of that, I think, is the absence of some of the things that the show does SO WELL: the aesthetic value, the diverse casting, the fantasy of it all. Instead, Quinn's novels feel almost old-fashioned and dowdy in comparison. Additionally, there's the element of sensuality that also feels a little tone-deaf in today's environment: every single couple, it seems, features an experienced Hero and a truly, woefully unprepared Heroine... which makes sex scenes feel tedious, if not problematic. 

But those are just gripes in general... specifically, with this installment, the issue was more with inconsistent character choices. It felt like at every turn, a character felt a certain way until, boom, they didn't. Then they'd be in danger of changing their mind again the second the wind changed direction. Colin doesn't really see Penelope... until he does. Colin never loses his temper... until he does. Colin doesn't trust Penelope after something he sees as a betrayal... until he does. It's enough to give a girl whiplash, emotional carriage rides aside. 

Also, this book made me DISLIKE several of the characters I have otherwise enjoyed from the books, including Eloise and Hyacinth. 

Honestly, I'm considering just sticking to the TV show in the future. 

Bromance Book Club (Bromance Book Club #1), Lyssa Kay Adams 

Two stars. 

Ok. So. The most positive thing I have to say about this book, is that it was short. 

Which is absolutely not a bad thing. I could skim through it quickly, without losing out on plot. I was able to essentially read the whole thing in a total of less than three hours. It made me laugh out loud exactly one time... I just rolled my eyes substantially more often. 

I think my primary aversion while reading this book is that it seemed to have only a tangential relationship with any kind of reality. While the major plot and characters could, perhaps, theoretically exist in some capacity, they were mashed together in such a breathlessly confusing fashion, and behaved in such nonsensical ways, as to render them completely disconnected from any kind of genuine or authentic emotion, and therefore, elicited very little emotional response from me beyond general frustration.

For instance, every single male character in this novel appears to have been concieved solely from the whole "fictional men written by women" trope. The most you got out of each of them, was when they'd suddenly veer off into a diatribe about how PSLs are unfairly mocked because of their ties to gender, or something else that sounds like it should have been a Thought Catalog piece, instead of a blockish piece of interruption. 

The dialogue elsewhere was similarly rough. Most of the secondary characters were barely given any kind of life or color to make them feel more substantial than a cardboard cutout (including, in one notable instance, simply the general idea that they are 1. foreign and 2. have IBS). The romance of this Romance was strangely paced, the points of tension resolving without much major communication or commitment, the stakes involved being way too high to justify the lack of deliberate, purposeful action. 

I mean, the conflict in the book is very much pitched with the idea that he and his wife are divorcing because he's never satisfied her in bed. The reality is much more bleak: after this unexpected, vulnerable admittance from her, he storms off, stops sleeping in their bedroom in favor of the guest room, and gives her the silent treatment, ignoring her completely for TWO WEEKS. And then is surprised when she tells him she wants a divorce! 

Furthermore, they are the parents of two - extremely unlikely kinds of precocious - tiny girls. Our Heroine left college early in order to birth and take care of them, because our Hero's professional baseball schedule makes little room for a partner to serve as anything other than a professional WAG. And not only has our Hero never recognized that this leaves her feeling unfulfilled and lonely... but she's never even felt comfortable TELLING HIM this. 

They didn't need romance novels at all; what they needed was couple's therapy and the chance to actually COMMUNICATE with their PARTNER.

It honestly feels like the Hero has very little agency of his own in trying to win back his wife. I mean, the book opens with him hungover off a booze bender in a hotel room. He's not the one to really opt into the Book Club, he's prompted by his friends; his decisions aren't led by his own judgement, as much as his friends' input, and his attempts at winning his wife over are even cribbed directly from the actual romance book itself. Like I said, highly unrealistic: he clearly cares, so why isn't he actually trying, beyond what all of these people are simply telling him to do? What's going to happen the next time they encounter a problem as a couple? 

And... okay, so spoiler alert for this next section, too. 

I think the thing that irks me the most about the plot resolution was this sudden, miraculous ability to resolve the issues in their sex life. She's been faking for their entire relationship, right? And she's been an interested, enthusiastically engaged party in their decision in a committed, married partnership to have sex, repeatedly, over the course of years. 

But even when they're on the pathway to getting better and solving their problems, they have issues *getting there* as a couple... partially because she gives him zero prompting as to what makes her feel good. In fact, the dialogue kinds of suggests that she hasn't really considered it. And I mean, female sexuality is historically a cultural taboo, and women have been socially conditioned to place their pleasure second, sure, sure. But they clear up their misunderstandings and finally start to talk more about their relationship, and all of a sudden, they're having marathon rounds in a hotel room? How does that make sense? 

Are we to believe her inability to have an orgasm is by sheer subconscious dissatisfaction with her overall life? For YEARS? It honestly would have been more impactful if their sex life had improved in a more gradual way, and I'm talking over the course of months... with time, persistence, and more and more open communication about, specifically, the physical side of their relationship. Or if there had been some kind of personal, medical component on her side that the two of them could have worked through together. Something that would have made what was established in the plot as a clear, present, persistent problem, as something that was more meaningful than just... talking it out a few times. 

All told, I have watched Hallmark movies with more dimension. But again... at least it was short.

at least there's a happy ending for all of this

Thankfully, in the time since reading all of these books, both my sister and I have come out on the other end of this mini Romance-related slump. 

She got snapped out of her cloudy skies with an entirely different, much-hyped Lesbian Romance, one I'd actually recommended for her girlfriend back in December (Count Your Lucky Stars, by Alexandria Bellefleur, which also happens to be set in the city where she and her girlfriend first met). 

Meanwhile, this Historical lover was actually wooed by a Contemporary Sports Romance, of all things... one that was centered around Hockey, a sport about which all knowledge has been gained from Disney Channel Original Movies. However, thanks to commentaries on LGBT relationships and diversity in sports, and as much heart as there was heat - and there was a LOT of heat - Goalie Interference (Hat Trick #2) by Piper Vaughn and Avon Gale redeemed all thoughts of Romance for me over the course of 24 hours. 

Am I going to be attempting another anytime soon? The answer is, unfortunately, yes. "Unfortunately," because this year's Big Box of Paranormal Romance Challenge hasn't exactly been off to the smoothest of starts, something you'll hopefully be learning about soon... once I finally get through my third installment in the challenge for this year. 

Maybe I'll take a break before I get back into that one, though. Anyone got any SciFi recommendations I can pick up instead? 

Have you read any really good Romances lately? When's the last time you were disappointed by one of your "escape" genres? Let me know, in the comments below!

It's Still Cold and I'm Still Busy: What I Read in January, February, and March

Okay. So. Have I been a good blogger recently?

Well. Define "good." And "bad," while you're at it. 

Have I been an absent blogger recently? Well...

Barring a weekend sojourn to Canada for an eventful Spring Break touring around Victoria, BC, you don't really have any idea what I've been up to. You have no idea what I've been working on, and more importantly, you don't know what I've been reading.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry. I've been a... less than forthcoming blogger. But I've got a slew more posts coming your way over the course of this month, and I'm getting all of that other stuff handled as best I can. I mean, I haven't even been able to watch a single episode of Shadow and Bone Season 2 yet! That's how busy I've been! 

But for now, let's talk over everything I've been reading for the last few months. 

Well. Not everything. But a lot of it. Lay off, okay? 

january

Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte

A British Gothic classic, in which the penniless orphan Jane Eyre faces off against social expectations and religious doctrine while also battling feelings for her employer, Edward Rochester... amongst other things. A favorite of English teachers the world over. 

I had a massive hankering for investing myself in this thick and moody classic, since about October of last year. But because I was subsumed under so many different things, I kept pushing it off. I figured it was a good way to start off the new year instead: a hefty, but not insurmountable, reread, one that would allow me to have fun, while also being intentional about my reading habits in the new year. 

I knew I couldn't just throw myself into it without forethought, so instead, I used it as a kind of self-managed care practice: I'd be ready for bed by 10pm, read starting at 10:30pm, and after about three chapters, be tired enough to go to sleep. Not only was this a great habit to start forming, but it gave me a manageable, but not insignificant, chunk to break apart piece by piece. After almost two weeks of reading in this fashion, I successfully made it to the end! 

This was a reread that really made me feel my age... not in a bad way. I think I've really fallen into the habit over the years of reading solely for comfort, as a safe way to do some escaping - hence all the Romance and the novellas and the food writing - and not only did this impress on me the value of "difficult" books, but also, how far I've come since the first time I read it, in high school. A new appreciation for rich and dedicated description, as well as really effective word choice, and a retrospective understanding of a LOT of really effective foreshadowing. I also had a better critical perspective on elements of the more problematic or time-illuminated parts of the book, like the casual racism, or dedication to Christian dogma. 

Plus, I learned a ton of new words. 

All in all, I couldn't have picked a better book to kick off my year! 

Life with the Afterlife: 13 Truths I Learned About Ghosts, Amy Bruni

Television personality and veteran ghost-hunter Amy Bruni discusses growing up with an awareness of paranormal activity, her experiences in the field, and personal perspectives on hauntings she's encountered. 

Pretty close to the turn of the year, Mom and Dad decided that - like last year's sojourn to a local state park - Dad desperately needed to spend his birthday weekend somewhere fun. We ended up settling on Port Townsend: close to the water, packed with charming bookstores, and apparently, very, very haunted. 

Only an overnight, but still, I needed to be prepared. Dad had lent me this book back in December, when I still thought I'd be able to speed read my way through to Goodreads glory; instead, I read this across two days in January, in anticipation of staying in a haunted castle. 

I ended up enjoying myself! (With this read, definitely not the noisy, frustrating castle, which was occupied by both inconsiderate amateur ghost hunters, as well as a very large, very crunchy spider). 

Bruni was someone I grew up watching on Ghost Hunters, and my parents are still fans of her and Adam Berry's Kindred Spirits show. It was cool to read this in her voice (while also being able to tell, by its relatively detached and impersonal narrative, that it was definitely not her words alone).

While I loved her perspectives on being a part of the paranormal community and her details from producing both shows, the damper I felt was from my own personal feelings on hauntings: Bruni is a BELIEVER, to the point of having an entire chapter dedicated to her beliefs about aliens and Bigfoot. While I loved her views on the greater status of ghost-hunting shows as a sociocultural reflection, I couldn't quite commit to the same level of full faith that she clearly has. 

Also read: What a Dragon Should Know, G. A. Aiken, which you can find on another upcoming Paranormal Romance blog post! 

february

Hype: How Scammers, Grifters, and Con Artists Are Taking Over the Internet - And Why We're Following, Gabrielle Bluestone

An enthusiastic and detailed perspective on the failings of Fyre Fest, as well as the careers and ne'er-doings of other kinds of Internet-savvy fraudsters and falsifiers, like Elon Musk, Donald Trump, Caroline Calloway, and more. 

Thanks to our author's attorney background, this book is incredibly well-researched, footnoted to oblivion, and chock full of numerous, credible examples of wrong-doing perpetuated across the Internet and beyond. But because she is a human being who CARES, DAMMIT, parts of his book also carry the unmistakable tinge of emotion, and specifically, frustration: why the hell do these kinds of people keep getting away with it? 

So, well-researched? Yes. Well-composed? Not exactly. Chapters are long, and tend to wander down various tangential pathways when tied to other such credible stories; anecdotes are framed with significant bias and open feeling. In some ways, it kind of feels like Bluestone REALLY just wanted to include as much detail about Fyre Fest as possible, but was beaten to the punch by all of the other flashier coverage dedicated to the event, and her editors wanted her to widen her scope. In particular, the Covid chapter didn't feel organically tied to the overarching themes at all, but more like a publishing house request, as if her editor asked her to add an additional chapter after the first set of lockdowns hit. 

My overall takeaway from this book was that it was an entertaining, slightly horrifying read, and that all business majors should be placed on some kind of government watch list. 

Best American Food Writing 2020, ed. J. Kenji Lopez-Alt

A collection of some of the best short form food writing published in 2019, as selected by chef and Food Lab author J. Kenji Lopez-Alt. 

Truly one of my favorite installments, of a book series I've completely fallen in love with over the past few years. This particular edition occupies a strange place in time: all of the articles included in it were published in 2019, but the book itself was compiled and selected within the context of what was happening during the first few months of Covid. As a result, the context of various pieces feel somewhat suspended in time: post-Me-Too, but pre-George-Floyd-riots, pre-Door-Dash-dependency, but also at a time when its writers were completely oblivious to what trials the foot production, retail, and restaurant spaces would look like in less than a year. 

Personal favorite essays from this particular grouping: 

• an exploration of the weaponization of grits in pop culture and relationships
• a breakdown of the difficulties of simply eating at a restaurant as someone with a disability, and the ways restaurants could make their eateries more accessible to everyone
• a pointed look at Lean Cuisine's marketing reliance on dieting culture, and their adaptation in the face of self-love movements
• separate spotlights on the career dives of media-darling chefs Jamie Oliver and Rocco DiSpirito
• a timeline of the targeted media destruction of New Coke
• a structured and highly-scientific exploration of various supermarket ice cream brands, and where dollar prices make the most sense per consumer experience
• a historical understanding of Prince's Hot Chicken in Nashville
• truly the best and most realistic love letter to the cultural anomaly that is crab rangoon that I've ever read

Food lovers should already be reading this series, but if there was every any doubt on your end, start with this one. 

Also read: When a Scot Ties the Knot, by Tessa Dare, which you'll see on an upcoming Romance blogpost, and Bustin', which you'll see on an upcoming Paranormal Romance blogpost! 

march

Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City, K. J. Parker

In a fantasy world where pirates have invaded nearby cities and their locally stationed militia has been brutally taken out by a mysterious outside force, the fate of the empire hangs in the balance held by one single military engineer. The problem is, he barely has any idea as to what he's doing. 

Ugh. Can we all just talk about how disappointing it can be when a book turns out to be just... really problematic? Like if you could only excise out portions of the plot, dialogue, or characterization, everything would be fine. I felt the same way about Alan Bradley's questionable Fu Manchu section in The Bottom of the Pie, which colored my otherwise enthusiastic enjoyment of the book. "Just ignore all of these pages," you'd say, handing a book to a friend, "and everything will be fine." 

And then there's just the anger when you realize why that can't happen. When the problematic content is the driving force behind the main character, the antagonist's conflict, and the overall organization of the world. 

It's easy to be furious at the cruelty of the real world, where people are hideous to each other, where history lays forth in a gnarled and knotted tapestry, of all the ways pain can be inflicted. It's a different flavor of frustrating when confronted with an author who seems to have blindly, misdirectionally, confoundingly, decided to adopt elements of racial cruelty into a narrative, seemingly without considering any kind of an impact that inclusion of those inversions might have on their reader. 

But that's just part of the puzzle. This book could have been really good, and really funny... parts of it still are! But truly bonkers choices are made around world-building, characterization, plot development, and even the final 50 pages or so renders the point totally moot. 

It could have been better, but it wasn't. And I'm having a truly headache-inducing time questioning why the author made the choices he did. 

Across the Green Grass Fields (Wayward Children #6), Seanan McGuire

After fleeing a desperate situation of social upheaval when a confession to a friend goes wrong, Regan finds herself transported to the Hooflands, a wide-spanning world of only hoofed beasts, like centaurs, satyrs, and more. How will she find her way home... and does she even want to? 

I knew pretty quickly going into this installment of one of my all-time favorite Fantasy series, that this particular one wasn't going to be my favorite of the bunch. 

For starters, I didn't find the main character compelling; if anything, one of her first actions, and the subsequent few introductory chapters, mark her pretty squarely as a conformist, and a mean girl, in a situation where I feel like that wouldn't naturally be the case (she's a relatively well-off, middle-class child, who is demonstrated to have a decent social sphere and a natural intelligence and curiosity, with parents who are incredibly supportive and love her. So why shackle yourself to the meanest person you know, who will obviously one day betray you, who's already betrayed somebody else?). The choice seems to make more sense for plotting's sake, as the book that would naturally follow that kind of a character trait would create a plot driven by the idea of gaining worldly perspective, self-determination, and individual identity... but I don't really think those aspects were pulled off that authentically. 

The primary chapters caused additional confusion for me, as they clearly establish one of Reagan's crises of identity as being the revelation that she was born intersex. While it helps serve as a catalyst for primary action, it doesn't play a ton into the overall plot... and while I think that might have been the point of it - normalizing something that's already normal, that many people live knowing about themselves, but isn't really represented in culture or media - it makes for a kind of strange transitionary period at the end of the book. The narrative makes a point of referencing quite emphatically that sixteen years old will be the first time that Reagan has an opportunity to access gender affirming care, but - *spoiler alert* - when she is delivered back into the Real World at this meaningful age, at the end of the novella, it doesn't play into her realizations, inner dialogue, etc. at all. Which, again, maybe the normalization is a part of it, and maybe that kind of healthcare isn't referenced in the narrative because it's no longer something she cares about, but it still feels like it would be more meaningful if that was explicitly brought up. Instead, the plot point just kind of feels like it's left hanging. 

I'm not much of a horse girly, so the world of the Hooflands just really didn't appeal to me either. I felt like it was significantly less established or fleshed out than other worlds visited within the series. I thought it was a strange choice for a supporting standalone installment in the larger set. Apparently, Reagan will play a role in the plot of further books in the series, but for a first introduction, it felt like a weird, sideways kind of way to meet her. 

The major issue I had, though, was with the major theme or takeaway from the novel: that destiny doesn't matter, that you choose your own path, that you don't have to follow the lead that's handed to you. Reagan learns she can make her own choices, and stand on her own two feet, and that's great. The problem I have, though, is that "destiny isn't real" is a massively strange takeaway for a series of novels that are oriented around the sudden, unexplained appearances of magical doors that transport children to worlds in which major lessons are learned, only to then be thrust out of them again having learned their lessons. Destiny doesn't exist, predetermination isn't a factor... except for those big ol' honkin' doors, though. You should still believe in those. 

I've since learned from the Internet that Seanan is a huge My Little Pony fan, which at least explains something. 

Also read: Romancing Mr. Bridgerton and The Bromance Book Club, which will both be highlighted in an upcoming Romance blogpost. 

SO, that's everything I've read so far this year... almost. I've got a Romance blogpost coming up soon, about the - spoiler alert - disappointing Romances I've been encountering so far this year, and I've got another Paranormal Romance installment in the works, too, with some of my first picks from this year's Big Box of Paranormal Romance Challenge! 

What I'm saying is, stick around. Maybe I'll actually start posting regularly again. Wouldn't be the craziest thing to happen so far this year. 

What has been your favorite book of 2023 so far? Have you read any on this list? Let me know, in the comments below!

Travel Reading Log: What I Read While I Was in Victoria, BC

Hey, remember January? So fresh, so new, so full of hope? It feels like just yesterday... but it certainly wasn't, based on the alarming rate at which April is approaching. Where did the time go? 

Probably lost on yet another one of the vacations I keep tagging along on with my parents. 

Yes, it's been a month since my last installment here on the blog, and it somehow comes in the wake of yet another travel excursion with my family unit.

Lest anyone accuse me of serial-hopping on my parents' tickets, you should know I was specifically invited this time: as much as my college senior brother loves both of them, he wasn't as into the idea of a weekend spent in a foreign country without at least one more buddy with whom to travel. And it just happened to work out. Well, for me, at least... he was the one who got stuck on the pull-out bed in the hotel room. I got one of the two queen beds all to myself. 

So, the four of us sailed away to Canada in order to seek a different shade of grey skies, in the midst of a gloomy PNW March. Don't think I was venturing off without some reading material stuffed into my backpack: after all, Victoria is home to plenty of bookstores. I wasn't all that interested in getting caught in a vulnerable state of mind, thanks to this year's self-imposed book ban! 

The goals of the trip were thusly laid out: Don't leave my brother behind in Canada, and definitely try to finish at least one book. 

Where We Went: Victoria, BC

Victoria, in the Canadian province of British Columbia, makes for an easy weekend jaunt over the border, for those of us who hail from Washington state. In fact, it's less than a three-hour boat ride on one of the Victoria Clipper vessels, a comfortable and leisurely sailing from Pier 69 in Seattle. For those willing to make the drive out to Port Angeles, it's only a ninety-minute ride on the Coho Ferry, which means you can even take your car with you when you go. 

Not that you really need to: one of the best parts of the city is how completely walkable it is, with a waterfront, downtown area, and plenty of fascinating places to explore, all within an accessible distance, and with plenty of options for lodging! Numerous forms of transportation provide the filler for any gaps in your travel needs, like CVS Tours' regular daily stops at Butchart Gardens, or their Hop-On-Hop-Off Bus. There's a series of small pickle boats you can take around the Harbor, courtesy of Harbor Ferry, who will putter you around to where you need to go. Pretty much every hotel you stay at will either have or be able to point you towards a bike rental service, and the roads are specifically equipped to handle bikers. That's not even mentioning Victoria's own public transport systems, either!

Because it's such an easy trip from stateside, you might forget you're in another country at all, save for two defining factors: one, you will almost never have wifi, unless you're willing to park yourself in the lobby of your hotel for an honor of social media scrolling, and two, the proliferation of large bear, beaver, and maple leaf iconography everywhere tells you you're definitely in Canada. 

Thanks to everything from architecture, to local eateries, to tourist souvenirs, Victoria is also fairly reminiscent of Europe, thanks to its British heritage. Expect lots of references to the monarchy, both historical and kitschy, as well as plenty of shops boasting treats from abroad: full English breakfasts and British candies, tea collections created in honor of the late queen, and more. Traditional Scottish wool sweaters, and lots of statues will remind you that British Columbia was originally a British colony, before joining the Canadian Federation in 1871, nearly 100 years after the first American colonies had declared independence. 

My trip to Victoria in 2018 made for my first-ever excursion out of the country, and my second-ever off of American mainland soil. This trip would be the second time I had ever set foot in Canada, which was the same for my brother, only with slightly different baggage: the first time he had ever ventured out of the country was during a soaking-wet, miserable week-and-a-half trip through the Bowron Lakes Circuit, also in British Columbia, with other Boy Scouts. Beset by mosquitos, occasionally orbited by wildlife, and constantly weighing the fear that he and my Dad were never going to make it home, BC hadn't exactly made a sterling impression on him during that particular trip. 

He liked Victoria a lot better. 

Embarking on the Clipper on the port out of Seattle; the views from Ogden Point Breakwater, one of my favorite morning walks of the trip; some of the themed city signage in Chinatown, near Fan Tan Alley

What I Packed

I honestly wasn't expecting to read so much this trip: based on my previous experiences in Victoria, I kind of anticipated more wearing myself out than anything. Besides, the hotel had a pool! 

Still, it wouldn't make any sense to come unprepared. And as it turns out, it was totally necessary! 

The one I hadn't finished since last vacation: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City, K. J. Parker

The easy novella, from a series my brother and I read together: Across the Green Grass Fields (Wayward Children #6), Seanan McGuire 

The bonus: My Kindle... on which I still have quite a few Romance novels waiting to be read! 

What I Actually Ended Up Reading

After several weeks of avoiding the challenge of tackling this frustrating read - one that I had originally started on our last vacation, on Whidbey -  I finally finished Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City! Unfortunately, all of the issues I had with the book in the first place, continued to play just as much a part in the second half; however, with the commitment I just wanted to get through it so I could review it properly, I was able to consistently read over the first day or so of our vacation, finishing up the morning of Day Two. 

Am I stoked about the fact that I had to essentially force myself to read this book? No, not exactly pleased. The problem is, it was a very good book, that made such bizarre authors choices and carried such questionable themes that the further I got into the story just made me angrier... at least if it had been bad, I could have put the whole thing to the side. Instead, I'm planning on writing a full review on just this one book, something I haven't done in years! 

In my post-Sixteen Ways upset, I felt like I practically soared through Across the Green Grass Fields. It barely took me any time at all, maybe a cumulative two hours of reading, because it was both a novella and not exactly difficult, which made me feel incredibly accomplished being able to pass it on to my younger brother on the trip back home on Day Three. A good thing, too, because it's an installment in a series that both he and I read, but based on the fact that I'm such a mood reader, something he's stuck, stagnant, in line to read until after I've finished each title first. 

(Listen: as a conservative estimate, I purchase or recommend this kid a minimum of eight-to-ten books a year. It's just that he had the misfortune to join this particular series after I had called a fair-and-square dibs, plus I was the one to lend him the first three installments. He can have a little patience about it.) 

He was relieved to get the title from me, and had finished it as well, before Spring Break was over and he had to go back to school. 

Being that I had somehow managed to finish two books before the three-hours-without-wifi boat ride had even begun chugging its way back home, I wasn't exactly willing to let go of my momentum yet. Thank goodness I had ended up packing that Kindle! I ended up deciding to finish Bromance Book Club, which I had already managed to get 10% of the way into during my "Speed Dating my Kindle Romances" back in February, last month. 

Isn't it nice when a book kind of meets your expectations? I was very nearly done by the time we had docked back in Washington, and had it not been such an exhausting weekend, I probably would have had the whole thing wrapped up with a bow on it before my head hit a pillow. As it stood, I ended up finishing the final stretch of it before 9am the next morning, which I'm calling as having counted. 

So, on the vacation I hadn't really envisioned reading on, I ended up closing out three titles, in about three days.

What Else We Did

Not that I hadn't kept myself incredibly busy, of course! It truly was just the luck of having downtime. After all, you have to have something to do when your screaming feet are trying to monopolize your attention. 

There's really just so much to take your attention in Victoria. 

For starters, I toured a whole lot of bookstores, for someone who truly has no good reason for doing so (Curse you, Book Buying Ban of 2023.)

Bastion Books, so named for its proximity to Bastion Square downtown, is a sweet, small bookstore that couldn't be more than two rooms wide, filled with secondhand, predominantly vintage books. My brother, the musician, managed to zero in on some old-school reference books that he recognized from his use in his own scholarly pursuits, while my Dad was interested in looking at the pieces of art that occupied various corners of the store, clearly created by those who loved books as well. It reminded me of a pocket-sized version of a hometown favorite, Kings Books, in which there is always something old to be made new again. 

Munro's Books, a picturesque, Instagram-friendly, and well-lit bookstore - built out of what used to be a bank - truly ranks among the more beautiful bookstores I've ever visited, though it seems that's a pretty general consensus: the place is typically packed with other interested book lovers, which can make some of its less linearly-organized shelves a bit of a practice in politeness, while contending with the crowd around you. It carries both plenty of bestsellers and new releases, mixed up with genre selections you've never heard of before, as well as gorgeous notebooks and knickknacks to add to your collection. It reminds me a lot of Elliot Bay Bookstore in Seattle, with its ample windows bringing in natural light, and well-curated shelves. While there's no coffee shop here, though, you can easily maneuver your purchases over to Murchie's Tea next door for a cuppa. 

Russell Books - a bit of a longer walk away from Government Street than your other options - was hands-down the family fave. And I know it's an incomplete comparison, but personally, it reminded me of Powell's City of Books in Portland, on two counts: for starters, it's completely unassuming on the outside, only to reveal a behemoth (two stories! with an escalator!) on the inside, and second of all, it had really, truly wonderful prices. This was the bookstore that very nearly broke me! I have pictures saved on my phone of at least seven different titles that I'm still planning of looking up later, closer to my Bloggoversary, once I get my purchasing power back. For both cheap prices and a great selection, Russell Books is an unskippable star. Do yourself an absolute favor, and schedule both Russell Books and the very nearby Cactus Club Cafe into one afternoon.

Because of course, while visiting what has become one of my personal favorite vacation destinations, we weren't just there to read and browse bookstores... we came to eat.  

Cactus Club Cafe won my sibling and I over on our last trip, thanks to its banging guacamole and the promise of frozen rose... frose, to use the appropriate parlance. Unfortunately for us, both items had vacated the menu by the time I managed to go back. Thankfully, though, damn near everything else my brother, parents, and I ordered off the menu was absolutely delicious! The drinks were gorgeous, the appetizers were absolute stunners - the chicken lettuce wraps and the beef carpaccio being crowd favorites - and my Dad and my brother both adored the mashed potatoes that came with their steaks. If it weren't for the dead-set plan on picking up some Beavertails before we headed back to our hotels, we probably would have stayed even longer... the mood lighting, club music, and friendly waitstaff make for a very fun nighttime locations. They also have some of my favorite bathrooms I've ever used, but that's beside the point. 

We also made the triumphant return to another favorite from our last trip: The Fish Store, located out on the docks of Fisherman's Wharf. Not only is it cool to tour some of the nearby houseboats, but the various food retailers on this floating network of docks are absolutely worth the walk to get there. While prices might have gone up a little bit since the last time we visited, my Dad and I are still enthusiastic supporters of The Fish Store's from-the-sea-fresh selection of oysters, which you can purchase at $36 Canadian dollars for a full dozen, with 25% off between the hours of 4 and 5pm. Eventually I will actually try something non-oyster-related on their menu... but then again, why deny yourself the joy of fresh oysters? 

Other absolute can't-miss attractions: Butchart Gardens, accessible via a short, 35-minute-hither-and-thither bus ride, which boasts a number of gorgeously-appointed gardens, as well as a gelato stand, coffee shop, and restaurant; and Beacon Hill Park, a sprawling, green public park oasis that contains numerous walking trails, ponds, and more ducks-per-square-foot than anywhere else I've ever visited... and even a petting zoo that allows you to get up front and personal with goats for only a $6 donation!

On one hand, I feel like I could have stayed there another week without getting bored. There were plenty of things we didn't really get to do there this trip that I absolutely loved last time - like spending more time at the Royal BC Museum, which was under serious construction, or taking high tea somewhere like the Fairmont Empress - and of course I had another hundred or so restaurants lined up that would have made for some good eating. On the other, there's only so much time you can spend in a hotel room with both parents and a college-aged brother without feeling at least a little stir-crazy, so I was pretty happy to venture back to Washington when we did. 

The good news is, this pretty much guarantees a return trip sometime in my future! After all, I still haven't gotten to see any of the nearby castles you can tour, nor have we made it over to Victoria West. It's nice to know that there's more waiting for me, the next time we go back. 

Though honestly, I'd do it just for the oysters. 

Have you ever been to Victoria, BC? Does it sound like the kind of place you'd like to visit? Which bookstore would you choose to shop at? Let me know, in the comments below!