NOW WE ARE NINE: NEARLY A DECADE ON THE INTERNET (aka, Back to Blogging, and What I'm Doing Differently)

As of this afternoon, I will officially have been owner and operator of this blog for nine years. Nine years! And yet... this is the first time I've posted on here since May. To be very honest, if you had asked me what my plans were for this today a month ago, I would have told you, "I'm deleting everything." But, as you can see, I've changed my mind.

Here's how I started, what went wrong, and what I'm doing next... plus, some of the best things to come out of this blog, from nine years of writing. Happy Anniversary to me!

WHY I STARTED BLOGGING

My first ever post, in case you were wondering
what teenage Savannah was like.

I grew up as the eldest kid of four in my family, and learned to love reading, very, very quickly. A practice readily prompted by the Montessori school I grew up attending, driven by a personal desire to be left alone for as great a period in the day as possible, I made it a daily habit early on in my childhood.

The writing part came about a little differently: As a kid who could reliably be found agonizing over folded pieces of white paper, sketched over with design scribbles and articles I'd painstakingly transcribed from American Girl, it was only a matter of time before my magazine-oriented mind found its way into the blogging world as a teen.

I started my blog primarily because of how much I truly adored following them. I collected a handwritten list of urls in an old composition notebook, rife with notable fashion and food bloggers, including, over a decade ago, both Cupcakes & Cashmere and The Pioneer Woman (and they remain on my list today, as well!). I knew I wanted a space of my own, but my parents would never have agreed to support this sixteen-year-old's sartorial or culinary endeavors... what I could do, instead, was expand upon something I was already passionate about: books.

Within a few days, I had a domain of my own. (My computer-savvy Dad has remained the biggest supporter of this space over the years.)

But, let me bring you in on a secret: I didn't even follow a single other book blogger online until I was in college... and didn't get a Goodreads account until my sophomore year, in 2013. Before that point, I allowed a total of three people to follow my blog, all of  whom were family.

For a really, really long time, it was just me and the Internet. Until, of course, things got a little more social.

WHEN IT BECAME DIFFICULT

I've blogged through heartbreak, depression, and a college education. I've blogged for resume clout, putting that past runway interest to literary use in a book-inspired College Fashion column that ran for two years. Even when I wasn't reading anything particularly inspiring, I found that I could still scrounge up low-impact content: slump-beating tips, "haul" purchases, or even taking part in various memes like "Top Ten Tuesday," where I'd talk about books I'd read in the past.

In part, those kinds of ideas only came about, because they were already featured so prominently elsewhere. BookTube, as a concept, exploded during my college years, and I quickly found myself being drawn to big personalities with extensive industry networks and jaw-dropping bookshelf backdrops. Bloggers with fancier custom website designs than just my stock Blogger template became a reliable news source, taken in with my morning tea. Instagram and Twitter held their own sway with snarky soundbites and gorgeous visuals, leading me to eventually make my own Instagram account for this blog last summer.

Writing is all about building a community, reaching out into the ether, providing a sense of connection, right? I was finally connecting.

But after nine years of writing, the focus had begun to shift. As a sixteen-year-old, I served as lord and master of my corner of the Internet, but lived in terror of it ever being discovered by anyone I actually knew. It was important to me, because it was such a sandbox: I could build what I wanted here, and no one would know, or have anything to do with its construction, but me.

At twenty-five, I realized it had somehow become desperately important, somewhere down the line, that I really, really wanted people to read what I had to say... even if I wasn't actually saying anything worthwhile. I had started buying into the superfluous flotsam and jetsam that came with the "bookish Internet person" name tag, but was no longer thinking about whether this was truly motivating me to read or write more often, or with greater purpose. On the Internet, you're rewarded for posting frequently, with high click-through content, displayed alongside snappy labels and trendy tags, but the practice of generating this kind of material wasn't developing my authentic voice, or inspiring me to pursue challenging or interesting reading material.

I would regularly rack up more than 50 likes on a carefully stylized photo on my 450+ follower Instagram on multiple days a week, but the numbers felt somewhat soulless, especially when my own content on my preferred platform was only reaching about ten to fifteen people. My writing was floundering, with lackluster content only posted when I could drive myself to do so, widely inspired by formats created by online creators. I wasn't involved in this work, intellectually or emotionally... nor was I by my reading material. Reading fell out of practice as a daily endeavor.

So, I made my stand this past February, which, at the time, no one but me recognized for what it was: one last attempt. I redid the layout and color scheme based on what was trending. I painstakingly selected a relevant font to service the "unique audience" I made up in my head, after watching one too many "targeting your clients" videos on Skillshare. My content posting schedule had been lagging, but thanks to a coinciding SEO-booster that same weekend, I cobbled together a solo reading marathon dubbed "Readchella" back in April.

But it all still didn't feel like enough. I was putting a lot of effort into making the blog seem marketable, because that's what I thought my focus should be, and the numbers weren't yielding the kind of social reward I'd expected. Eventually I asked myself the question: If I was still that kid, back at sixteen, would my own blog have made my handwritten list? The answer was no.

I stopped writing my blog, and I stopped updating my associated Instagram, back in May. The system I had in place was not sustainable... I wasn't creating content I felt passionate about, and therefore, it was easy to stop trying so hard to create it.

I mulled things over, and tried to figure out where I would go from here. My ninth anniversary was coming up the very next month, and the only way I could think to honor that, was to shutter this project for good. At least then, I'd be able to switch the domain over into something I could use for professional writing projects, or a digital portfolio, right?

WHAT MADE ME COME BACK

Truthfully, part of the reason was my friend Kayla. She doesn't read my blog, but she does follow me on Instagram, and in turn, I follow her @readkaylaread account. She doesn't invest any time in aesthetic props or contrived filter settings... not even anything more than just the book's cover, accompanied by, hands-down, some of the most entertaining book reviews I've ever enjoyed on the Internet. She has no posting schedule, doesn't put any more effort into the visuals than a simple Google Image search, and only writes the things she absolutely feels like writing, when she wants to.

Kayla's writing is absolutely inspired, but by nothing more than personal reflection and her own inclination towards humor. After a brief scroll through her feed yielded several recommendations and a good belly laugh, It felt like just enough to inspire me to get back to... whatever this is.

I still don't think people read this blog, and to be clear, I really don't think this post is going to be what convinces them to. I think this is still as much of a shout into the void as I did back when I started, back when I refused to let people know that I blogged at all. But I'm trying to care less.

First and foremost, I need to get back to writing for me, back when I didn't want anyone watching. I want to keep writing, and I want to keep writing about books. And that's it! SEO-optimization, Pinterest-friendly shareable headers, labor-intensive photo editing, industry advantages and Advanced Reader Copies, and all that hullabaloo should have no bearing on something I'm not doing for anyone else... I'm just doing it because I like reading, and writing.

Here's the plan: from this point on, I'm only going to generate content that serves me. ME. I will write once a week, if I can, and the topics I cover will be a lot more interesting and in-depth, like some of the best content I've done in the past. That's it!

So, to celebrate this anniversary, I just wanted to tell you I'm back. I'm back to blogging, if not for good, than as long as it serves me, and gives me a reason to make something cool with what I can.

THE BEST OF ME

If you're wondering what kinds of content I'm talking about, let me highlight some of my favorite posts of the past. Here are eleven posts and two series from a total nine years of blogging here at Playing in the Pages, all of which I count as some of my favorites:

the "Reading Romance" series (2018) 

(intro // vintage // modern historical // modern contemporary)

Up until last June, I had never, ever read a romance novel. I decided to take the plunge by way of a structured program: I'd dedicate each month of the summer into exploring a particular subcategory, and report on my findings. Needless to say, the entire project was an absolute joy.

Getting Bache-literate: The Need-to-Read List for Fans of ABC's Bachelor Franchises (2018)

As someone who's been a rose-wielding member of Bachelor Nation since my college days, crammed onto a sofa with sorority sisters after weekly chapter meetings, it's a lot of fun to get a behind-the-scenes peek into the minds of popular show leads... and villains. I honestly hope more of these glossy-haired TV-lebrities start publishing memoirs; I'd read anything Rachel Lindsay has to say.

Book vs. Movie: Love, Simon (2018) and Twilight Reread: The Podcast, the Novel, My Brother, The Movie (2017)

I've mentioned my siblings on-and-off throughout the run of this blog, originally only referring to them in nicknames, due to my parents' fear of detailing too much personal info online. However, as this blog has gotten older, so have they... and they've been all too willing to add in their two cents, like when my family all saw Love, Simon when it premiered last year, or my teenage brother read Twilight for the very first time.

Best Books for a Boy: My Weird Struggle with Book Recs for my Teenage Brother (2017)

The only other member of my family with whom I share a comparable bookish appetite, is my teenage brother. However, not all YA is created equal... and this deep dive into why that is, including how a passion for reading has developed into a pseudo gender-distinctive trait, proves why I find giving him recommendations more than a little difficult.

Table for One: How to Speed Date a Stack of Books (2017)

As it turns out, this one wasn't as much an original idea on my part, than an expanding on various techniques that already exist, for how to sort through a large assortment of books quickly to find your next novel. Still, it's one of my favorite things to do on a slow afternoon... and has convinced me to read more than a few books I've loved!

Reading and Leading: What Arts and Education Have to Do with the Election (2016-17) 

(part one // part two)

Everyone reacted to the 2016 Election differently, in my family. My choice was to write about my feelings; in particular, how the values promoted in Arts, Education, and especially Literature, are more valuable now than ever before.

Plus Six Arcana: Why All Fantasy Fans Should Join a D&D Party (2016)

I played Dungeons and Dragons - in a party that included both my sorority sisters, and my actual sister - for about two years, starting in my senior year of college. That time served as not only two years of apartment- and sorority house-hosted eight-hour-long sessions, but a crash course in narrative development, compelling character creation, and collaborative world-building... the kind that any fan of Fantasy would enjoy!

Time is a Goon: Revisiting Jennifer Egan's Visit from the Goon Squad (2016)

In my Freshman year, I read Jennifer Egan's A Visit from the Goon Squad as a part of our mandatory Fall "Intro to English" credit. It became one of my favorite novels of all time. Three years later, I was severely depressed, had failed two classes, wasn't graduating on time, and felt like all of my friends were moving away from me... so I read it again. The context of these two reviews, to me, says a lot more than just their respective messages, as well as a lot about the power of this book.

Capstone Lite: The Paper That Allowed Me to Graduate College, Abridged (2016)

Anything you spent an entire Quarter carefully cultivating is bound to stick with you, especially when it's your key to graduation... but it wasn't just that. My mom asked me the question earlier this year, what I would spend my life doing if money wasn't an issue, and the answer was "Writing T.S.W.'s biography."

Nearly Nancy: Failed Attempts at a Multi-Media Nancy Drew (2016)

For some reason, this three-year-old blog post feels even more relevant today, after the most recent attempt at revitalizing the girl sleuth went under, as Ellen DeGeneres' produced movie was sent straight to DVD. Nancy Drew will be one of my favorite literary fixtures forever, and her utter inability to successfully translate to screen - with one extremely notable exception - is, to me, a part of her magic.

Honorary mention: the poem I wrote for my HS graduation!

Girls in Space: This Year's Nebula Award Winners (2016)

I'm not as up on the Science Fiction genre as I'd like to be - despite a whole college class to the contrary - but as I've started to explore more recently-published titles, it's started to improve... in part, thanks to more diverse authors being published in the past few years. However, that wasn't exactly welcomed within the given audience of these kinds of books, as evidenced by the 2015-2016 Hugo and Nebula award drama.

End of an Era with College Fashion (2014)

Anyone who went to high school with me would probably be shocked to no end, that the girl who wore a North Face and jeans to school every single day of both Freshman and Sophomore year, ended up writing for an internationally-read fashion website for two full years in college. It still surprises me, too.


I hope you take the time to explore some of my past work, and maybe leave a comment on one you've particularly enjoyed. Nine years is a lot of time to dedicate to something, and the potential of having a specific place for generating this kind of content in the future is part of the reason why I'm refusing to let it go just yet.

If you've visited my blog, at any point, during the past nine years, thanks so much for being a part of something so important to me!